I once was a man, a man of honor and of strength, not this empty shell of existence. Gone is my will to live, striped from me so that I may become a drone. I am just a number, not a person and so I now proceed to act like that. Watching as fellow numbers fall, their blood stained the dirt of this barren land. I am not what I used to be, I am not a man and yet my fight is not lost. No, for there is one who sings to me by the moonlight, her voice carries over the gun fire and into my heart. She is the omen of death or so the other drones say, but when I hear her song I feel more alive than living dead.
It is by the moonlight that I wait for the subtle lyrics to engulf me. Men, no not men, drones take their place be it the battlefield or back in tents, with thoughts that they are finally safe. My rifle by my side and my heart waiting to beat again, I listen in the night, watching over the rest of them. In the astronomical twilight, when men are sound asleep and the firing of guns is all but none, I hear the voice my heart so seeks.
“Come to me, my lover. Come to me tonight. Bring forth your heart and sacrifice your life. I will surrender to you, without a fight. Come to me my lover, before the end of night.” Her voice is but a whisper, a longing in my mind. I can only imagine the beauty behind the voice that is so divine. With trembling hands and heart racing, I snatch my rifle in order to search. She is but a goddess in this war of men, one I must protect with my life, as her lover it is my right.
“Private, what are you doing away from your post?” calls out my capture, the liar and sinner. With great effort I fight the urge to kill, he is what stands before me and my girl.
“Thought I heard something sir, though I am now sure it must have been you, Sir.” I say turning carefully so that he does not see the hatred in my eyes.
“Very well back to your post then.” He dismisses me without second thought for I am no threat to him or so he would think. He sees me as a number not a person who he trained to fight and kill. He doesn’t see my face or my broken will, but instead is concern with the enemies that lie out there waiting. So I return with heart placed back in its secret box, for to have heart out here is no good when you see your friends gunned, one by one down and left to rot until the gunfire stops.
Taking a seat at my post, I glance at the moon. It is crescent form and by far the deadliest next to the new moon. Tomorrow it’ll be gone and my beloved’s song will have to wait until the next time I’m on night guard duty. Knowing this makes my heart break as I long to feel the closeness of another. Ideas of tender words spoken in love, to feel my head nestled in her lap as we talk of trivial things. For almost two years I have been stuck in this purgatory, for I have lost all sight of paradise and am but a death away from hell.
Only in this last few weeks had I found my salvation, though at first hesitant now I know her love for me is true, for she sings to no one else but me. I listen for talk of my beloved, for others to talk of her song but instead only curses and vulgar words spoken about the battlefield witch of destruction. I do not speak up for my beloved for to do so would cause suspicion and that above all else is what we wish to avoid. They would hunt her down if they knew we were in love. For me it would be a simple death, bullet riddled body as others looked on in warning.
They didn’t understand how over these weeks she had opened my eyes. For these were not my brothers but sheep working for the wolf and like dumb sheep they slaughtered themselves for what they thought was a great good. Oh no, not I, not now, for I had seen the light brought to me by her song so sweet. For those too high to carry a gun and fight at the front beside the drones were the real devils in disguise. And now I would be without her comfort for some time, my heart all but breaking at the thought her song might shine for another. If that were to happen, I fear my mind would shatter into a million pieces and I would have to end my meaningless life.
“Come to me my lover, let me show you truth divine. My heart beats only for you as yours does for mine. Don’t let them keep us parted, don’t let them mock our love. I need you my lover but those bustards are keeping us apart. ” Her song does call, closer than before, as if she is coming upon me. Turning in the darkness, a subtle outline, my heart jumps to my throat wondering if it is now our time.
“Come to me my lover and I shall set you free. Come to please my one and only and take me within the…but I know you mustn’t yet for there are things to be done. Lover, you must set free these sheep, slaughter the wolves and then we’ll be one.”